Somehow I got off balance yesterday. I knew I was out of synch when I spent a great deal of time panicking and searching for the list of my hours I am keeping until Hope gives me a time card for my ballet class piano work. I think I am missing my solitude. The list was right where I had put it, of course.
I think that vulnerability is a basic component for good communication. I deliberately make myself vulnerable in my improvising, my composing and even blogging.
But the way I handle myself in person with people is much different.
I notice that yesterday several people I came in contact were themselves having a bit of an off day.
I think it might be a bit inappropriate to share the specifics. But I bring them up because in each case I found myself mustering positive psychic energy and attempting to be quietly supportive and calm as I listened to (and worked alongside) people who were dealing with life.
Driving home after rehearsal last night, I found myself drained by these attempts to be honest and supportive to people I care about. It’s odd that mustering positive energy can leave one so exhausted.
Thank goodness for Leonard Cohen (another thank you to my brother Mark for giving me his most recent CD/DVD, “Songs from the Road.”). I listened to this song going to and from rehearsal last night. This recording made in Madrid doesn’t do justice to the sound.
But I do love the way Javier Mas improvises in and out of this beautiful melody.
Here are the words to this lovely poem/song:
I asked my father,
I said, “Father change my name.”
The one I’m using now it’s covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame.
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me,
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
He said, “I locked you in this body,
I meant it as a kind of trial.
You can use it for a weapon,
or to make some woman smile.”
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
“Then let me start again,” I cried,
“please let me start again,
I want a face that’s fair this time,
I want a spirit that is calm.”
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
“I never never turned aside,” he said,
“I never walked away.
It was you who built the temple,
it was you who covered up my face.”
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
And may the spirit of this song,
may it rise up pure and free.
May it be a shield for you,
a shield against the enemy.
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
Yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me
yes and lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover, lover come back to me.
I like the music. It fits the mood I am in.
Sorry to hear you had an off day yesterday. Better luck today. Change the subject….put up shelves in the garage for my books. They need to be off the floor…I used garage type shelving with 7 ten inch wide and one 12 inch wide wood pieces. Also used thin cheap pieces of metal to put the shelves themselves on. Went to home depot and spent about $100 as opposed to spending double with built ins. Cynthia’s dad painted the shelves for me while I was at work. That was a nice gesture. I will most likely attach the shelves to the wall on one side to ensure they are earthquake significant….you know we like to shake shake shake out here. Also, got a board ready to put up to act like a quark board, basically made out of a piece of drywall and some cloth. I am getting closer and closer to getting my office type space ready so I can concentrate a bit more on the dissertation without having to go to the local panera or starbucks. I reinstalled Google chrome and it is working faster than I remember so I will probably stick with it. Downloaded about a dozen ebooks (classics like philosophy, business stuff, from this website: http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/20-best-websites-to-download-free-e-books/) and with the help of the sister (liz) was able to locate a program to extract the ebooks so I can actually read them (in my spare time of course). Catherine’s arm is healing. Not sure if you heard, but she broke it. We had a bad experience with the medical care again but I won’t go into details here. Let me know if you want the run down and I will email it to you.
Just a few notes to let your mind wonder about….something other than your daily trials and tribulations….
David
Sorry to hear you had an off day yesterday. Better luck today. Change the subject….put up shelves in the garage for my books. They need to be off the floor…I used garage type shelving with 7 ten inch wide and one 12 inch wide wood pieces. Also used thin cheap pieces of metal to put the shelves themselves on. Went to home depot and spent about $100 as opposed to spending double with built ins. Cynthia’s dad painted the shelves for me while I was at work. That was a nice gesture. I will most likely attach the shelves to the wall on one side to ensure they are earthquake significant….you know we like to shake shake shake out here. Also, got a board ready to put up to act like a quark board, basically made out of a piece of drywall and some cloth. I am getting closer and closer to getting my office type space ready so I can concentrate a bit more on the dissertation without having to go to the local panera or starbucks. I reinstalled Google chrome and it is working faster than I remember so I will probably stick with it. Downloaded about a dozen ebooks (classics like philosophy, business stuff, from this website: http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/20-best-websites-to-download-free-e-books/) and with the help of the sister (liz) was able to locate a program to extract the ebooks so I can actually read them (in my spare time of course). Catherine’s arm is healing. Not sure if you heard, but she broke it. We had a bad experience with the medical care again but I won’t go into details here. Let me know if you want to run down and I will email it to you.
Just a few notes to let your mind wonder about….something other than your daily trials and tribulations….
David
David says he can’t comment on your website? weird.
David keeps getting an error: “Duplicate comment detected; it looks as though you’ve already said that” when trying to post.
I don’t get it. It showed up in my spam, so I approved it that way. It might be (hopefully) because I deleted one of my responses to David’s comments and later restored them under that post…. ?????
Screw it I sent u an email