I admit I was dreading church a bit yesterday. Recently  I attended a funeral that shredded the small bits of faith I have been mustering. Inanity always knocks me for a loop. As well as the way church communities do so little to welcome and accomodate people who don’t usually go to their church. (i.e. no printed programs, lack of clarity about what is expected of the congregation, strictly denominational hymns). It’s not that big a deal. It’s more that I sometimes wish I could just completely walk away from my church heritage and not have to think about these sorts of things.

Having said all that, yesterday went amazingly well. Most impressive was the way the choir seemed to rally themselves and really connect to the situation. I sometimes feel that choir is pretty low on people’s priorities. I try very hard not judge people’s commitments. My philosophy is to work with who is present. I think the “heart to heart” at last Thursday’s rehearsal started a good conversation and might have given some choristers some insights into why I lead the way I do. 

The anthem went surprisingly well. Several people noticed the organ music. This was encouraging because I had a bit of difficulty concentrating during the prelude because people were talking loudly right near the console. I must be showing my age when this sort of thing distracts me. Or at least showing my thin skin. Heh. The congregation sang so well I was able to drop out on two stanzas of a strong four part hymn. They continued on in four parts. That’s always cool.

I added a descant to the last hymn: (The Glory of these Forty Days sung to Erhalt uns). When I gave it to the sopranos one of them wondered if we could do descants during Lent. I said, why not? It was actually quite nice in the service.  The Buxtehude prelude and Gerald Near postlude were both based on the closing hymn. Even though I have performed the Near before, I felt like yesterday’s performance was actually quite musical. I guess practicing easy stuff pays off too. heh. 

Eileen spent an hour with Dad and Mom at the nursing home yesterday. I skipped it. Apparently Dad has not been sleeping to the satisfaction of the nurse. He has become increasingly uncooperative. Although when I saw him Saturday, he tried to skip using the walker but didn’t refuse when I tried to get him to use it. I am finding myself more worried about him. They gave him a sedative and the nurse thinks he’s depressed. She has a requested a psych eval which I think is a good thing, but wonder how you do that with someone who can’t speak or think well. 

It’s Dad’s vunerability that is getting to me. I’m a sucker for the weak. So even though I didn’t see him yesterday I had nightmares. Oy. 

I spent some of the afternoon making Vegetarian tMoussaka. I forgot that Eileen doesn’t like eggplant. But it didn’t turn out very well anyway. Dang eggplant didn’t cook through. Ah well, I do enjoy cooking. It’s more fun when I can share the food and it actually is edible. Heh. 

Today is a day off for me. I will try to relax, do some cooking and prep for the upcoming gig on March 13th. I would like to say this gig will be webcast but I’m not sure how to pull that off and also give the performing all the attention it needs.