I had a busy day yesterday. I took my Subaru in to replace the tail light we broke while moving mattresses. Then I went and had my new lenses installed in my frames. Eileen waited in the car because she wasn’t very impressed with the lens store people. Previously they had been haphazard about their approach to masking. But yesterday everyone was masked up. Unlike the auto place where I was the only one wearing a mask. Then Eileen and I went to the bank and talked to a banker about our finances. This was a hundred per cent better than the visit with the person at Edward Jones.

At some point Eileen was very unhappy to discover that the door on our upper landing had come away from the siding.

She reported it to the people who installed the door and siding about three years ago. We haven’t heard back from them yet but Eileen had trouble sleeping last night because of worrying about this. This morning I called State Farm about it. They told me what my deductible would be $1,135 and that I should wait until I have heard from the builders before putting in a claim.

This morning I made bread while listening to the Brandenburg Concertos of Bach. Eileen and I had fresh bread for breakfast. After breakfast I went grocery shopping. When I came home I could still smell the bread.

I am continuing to enjoy The Book of Form and Emptiness by Oseki.

“We books would say … that story is more than just a discarded by-product of your bare experience. Story is its own bare experience. Fish swim in water, unaware that it is water. Birds fly in air, unaware that it is air. Story is the air that you people breathe, the ocean you swim in, and we books are the rocks along the shoreline that channel your currents and contain your tides. Books will always have the last word, even if nobody is around to read them.” Ruth Oseki, The Book of Form and Emptiness

I also am continuing to enjoy retirement and beginning to understand what it means for me. In many ways I am returning to my self. In my dream last night I was riding with my parents to go to a restaurant. In the dream I was exulting on not having a job now and realizing that I could do whatever I wanted to do including going with my parents to a restaurant.

Eileen and I had a conversation about our differing styles. Yesterday when we got home from getting stuff done all Eileen could think about was the door upstairs. I told her that I was feeling like we had accomplished quite a bit. I told her that I’m like the character in the Ozeki novel, Benny. I am overly sensitive and acting like a grown up takes a lot of emotional energy from me. So we agreed to work on stuff next week. We also agreed that we would touch base on our finances on Wednesdays. This is mostly for Eileen’s benefit. I continue to have trouble believing in the idea of money. But I don’t want Eileen to feel overwhelmed with thinking about money.

It’s kind of like church, just because I don’t believe in money doesn’t mean I can’t function in regards to it. The only difference is that now with church I don’t have function any more.