It has been over a month since I started drinking fake fin in my nightly martini. This is working. Blood pressure is low and my weight is slowly falling.

After church yesterday, Eileen and I were both weirdly exhausted. We remained so for most of the afternoon and evening. I attribute this to the difficult exit I am experiencing at Grace. As I said yesterday attendance was low.

After we got home Eileen remarked that though I am retiring I am having to work a bit harder than usual. This is odd but she is probably reflecting the toll taken on me by the waffling and weirdness as I make for the exit.

As per usual the very people who are exerting unhealthy pressure on shaping my behavior did not attend Eucharist yesterday. Their absence may have weight on me more than usual as I attempted to lead a small group of non singers through the liturgy.

Eileen and I binged watched The Sinner. This is very unusual for us but it seemed to be the ticket yesterday. I like Bill Pullman but that was a bit silly.

Toward evening I began to feel more like myself. We are very lucky to have AC since it was miserable all day.

Early this morning I read a disturbing article on my phone in the New York Times app. It was about health workers on Staten Island protesting about mandatory measures around Covid. Here’s a link. My best guess is their weirdness is a combination of Republican nonsense and anecdotal perception. One worker had a reaction to her vaccination. It was not life threatening, but I wonder how many of her fellow workers were influenced. Also another worker would not believe that most of their cases were  from the unvaccinated even though the count showed they were.

Shame and blame make me crazy and drive shit like this. But we do live in a weird time.

I am having second thoughts about leaving my marimba and congas at church after I retire.

The reason is that I like the sound of these instruments and could conceivably want to use them again. Poor Eileen. She’s still asleep but I’m already making plans that will affect her.

This morning I spent my routine listening to Vaughan Williams.

First i started out with my beloved Oboe Concerto. This made me realize that I also don’t want to leave scores at the church that I may want to study in retirement. The Vaughan Williams is one of them. I have a complete miniature score at work. That’s coming home.

Then I discovered two new pieces by Vaughan Williams. His “Flos Campi ” for viola, small orchestra and chorus. The chorus doesn’t sing words thankfully. This is beautiful. Then on the recording I was listening to it went on to his Piano Concerto.

Hmmm. I must just be in the mood.

This morning there were about 30 people at Eucharist. Jen asked if we could do my Jazz Mass for my remaining Sundays. Despite the fact that I improvised on it for the prelude, the participation was weak.

The hymns were weak as well. When this is the case my inclination to to play a bit on the strong side so that if someone does sing they will feel supported.

Before we arrived, Eileen predicted a small turnout because of the reinstating of mandatory masking.

Both Eileen and I were too tired to go to a restaurant today after Eucharist. it’s been weird trying to keep pace with changing expectations of my last two weeks.

This morning I suggested to Jen that instead of ending with “This Little Light of Mine” as the closing hymn next week, we end with “Sweet, Sweet Spirit,” another favorite. Originally she was planning to invite choir members to stand by the piano for the last hymn. But we have reserved the last four pews for people who would prefer to social distance. This would be defeated by singing choristers lined up directly behind them. So she was happy to change.

I think she is planning to talk to the choir this Wednesday when they meet for final tryouts for filling my position.

The humidity and the temperatures are high today. So coming home to a cool house with excellent food from our refrigerator seemed to be the way to go.

Saving Pedagogy: Dante as the Poet of Education – Public Discourse

I continue to finish up reading the Divine Comedy. I’m reading three translations simultaneously so it can take some time.  I’m on Canto 29 of Paradisio. There are 33 cantos so I’m getting closer.

This article came up on my Facebook feed this morning. It was piano teacher who shared it. Bookmarked to read later.

How ‘Washington Week’ Host Yamiche Alcindor Gets It Done

I can’t figure out if I’m a fan of Alcindor or if she just stands out as the rare competent person on the PBS New Hour. At any rate, I will probably read her memoir which she is working on.

Britain’s Idyllic Country Houses Reveal a Darker History | The New Yorker

If I didn’t have a daughter living in the UK I don’t think I would know what National Trusts were. As it is I have been in a few. I haven’t spotted any racism yet, but apparently it is there in some of them.