It’s hard for me to discern exactly why Dad did this. He seemed to find satisfaction in situating his life story and that of his extended families in between contemporary historical events.

He was retired. It gave him a project for a while. He was in the beginning stages of Lewy Body Dementia and this made have contributed to his need to create a record of some kind before losing more of his own memory.

I had reason to reach for a volume yesterday when my cousin, Cheryl Miller (nee Midkiff), contacted me via email looking for family facts and pics.

I love the internets.

I was able to reach for Dad’s memoir and come up with some family names of ancestors Cheryl and I share. I passed on a few pictures sitting on my hard drive as well.

Eileen thought this would have made my Dad happy. She could be right about that. I have to say that I don’t think I ever knew my Dad very well. I certainly did not understand him. I think he loved me and I love him, but there did seem to be a barrier between us.

As I happily connect with Cheryl, the daughter of my Mom’s sister, I realize how little contact I have with extended family. Some of this is the inevitable result of how people are scattered all over and constantly moving around.

But some of it is I believe the inheritance of my particular family. My Mom was the only one of her family to leave West Virginia and go to college. It was a small church college, granted, but it was a huge step for her. Her sister and brother lived most of their life literally within a stone’s throw of their mother and father, Thelma and Jim. Though we visited West Virginia regularly and I have many fond memories of my cousins, aunts, uncles and Jim and Thelma, Mom struggled most of her adult life to find her place in her family of origin in her own mind.

On my Father’s side, he was estranged from his two older brothers for most of their lives. Dad chose to stay in the Church of God, becoming a minister like his father. His oldest brother Dave wisely put distance between himself and this part of his heritage. Jonny rejected the church stuff more emphatically. There are family stories of the damage done to Jonny as a kid which include beatings and humiliation around his repugnance with the Church of God.

My brother let drop the other day a little fact that Dad pushed his brothers away by trying to convert them back to the faith. I didn’t remember that. But I can see all of this as separation between family members.

I do have fond memories of my cousins, the children of Dave and Jonny. But at this point in my life I don’t really have relationships with any of my cousins.

On another internets topic, I have been having a pretty interesting discussion with Michael Cowgill, the music director of St. Michaels, West Retford, UK.

He is planning to perform Buxtehude’s organ setting of the Te Deum on All Saints at his church. He inquired on the English Church Music Facebook group if anyone knew why Buxtehude changed the order of the sections of the Te Deum.

I found this question interesting and began poking around.

I’m quite fond of Google Scholar and it led me to this book…

… which was sitting on the shelf at Hope College.

Snyder has a few pages on this piece and cleared up some of the confusion. He maintains the piece was garbled in transmission and the correct order follows the chant. He also notes that Buxtehude does not follow any extant cantus firmus melody exactly but quotes one that comes close.

I happily joined in conversation with Michael Cowgill across the world about this stuff.

I love the interwebs.

The singing was strong yesterday at Eucharist. It turns out that the relative little known tune, Hollingside, to which we sang, “Take my life and let it be,” is pretty familiar to this congregation. I thought about that as I played Alec Rowley’s quiet setting of it for organ as the prelude.

Ever since seeing (hearing) my organ and room through the eyes of John Boody I have been more aware of the quality of the sound. All my life I have had to play mostly very inferior instruments. I have thought that it is lucky for me that the music itself holds such attraction and interest for me that I can sort of listen beyond the quality of the sounds themselves. This is not an entirely happy thought, but still I know that I do not have the aversion to to certain sounds that many organists and organ builders do. I am attracted to better sounds. But having been exposed all my life to crappy organs and pianos, I have found a way to try to make them sound as good as possible despite their inferior nature.

Vocal sounds however are ones that I am constantly trying to improve. I think this is because I know ways to help people make better sounds with their voices. At least sounds that are more acceptable to my ears.

The choral anthem yesterday was an example of this. Sumner Jenkins’ lovely setting of words scrawled on a basement wall in Germany by someone hiding from the Gestapo was our anthem. The choir likes this anthem, so it was easy to get them to focus on vocal quality and interpretation. The result in service was something was I was happy with.

The postlude was “Trumpet Tune” by Calvin Hampton.

It is not as hard as most of his organ works. However, there were sections I wish I had worked harder on. On Saturday I carefully played through the last page 15 times. It concludes with a pedal flourish that I have been practicing. Then I played the entire piece four more times. Yesterday morning I worked on the pedal run, the tricky little section right before it before the pregame rehearsal. I also played slowly through the entire piece.

The result was pretty good. I can remember my teacher, Ray Ferguson, saying that sometimes you practice right up until a performance. I have found this to be true especially in the last few years when I have begun challenging myself more often as a performer.

As Eileen and I walked home together I felt pretty good about the music I had just performed.

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Performance Anxiety? Take a Deep Breath –

Interesting study about performance anxiety. I was particularly interested and amused at how they set up the musicians for anxiety by asking them to perform difficult music.

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Who Will Mourn George Whitmore? – NYTimes.com

Another sad story of American hate.

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Make Motor Vehicle Safety a Priority – NYTimes.com

This writer uses automobile accidents of the Presidents to illustrate her point.

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Afghan Boys Eke Living Amid Peril at Gorge – NYTimes.com

Somehow these “boys” (some are elderly men) put themselves in harms way to direct fast traffic. Some of the drivers toss them money.

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Which Millionaire Are You Voting For? – NYTimes.com

I have “friends” on facebook who hate Obama. I have also “friends” who hate Romney. I do not really despite either man. I am planning to hold my nose and vote for Obama. But I can’t deny that his presidency has been one that troubles me. Interesting facts in this article include:

“If millionaires were a political party, that party would make up roughly 3 percent of American families, but it would have a super-majority in the Senate, a majority in the House, a majority on the Supreme Court and a man in the White House.”

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The Possibilities of Quantum Information – NYTimes.com

Interesting science for lay people.

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Questions on Drones, Unanswered Still – NYTimes.com

NYT public editor, Margaret Sullivan, chronicles coverage of drones. I find the idea that we are killing remotely very troubling.

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