I had a good meeting with Dr. Birky, my therapist, yesterday. We talked about my burnout. I mentioned here yesterday it may be that I’m navel gazing my way into thinking I’m more burned than I am. I do need some time for regeneration. But that might not be the same thing as burn out. Focusing too much on one idea can end up being unhelpful when it’s not accurate.

Birky provided two instances for me to think about. His daughter works with horses. He said that when she is teaching them she works with them for an hour or so a day for a week or two. Then she literally stops and puts them out to pasture.

He also mentioned the fact that professional athletes deliberately cease training for some time every year.

We were discussing my practicing regimen which is daily and sometimes looks to me to be a bit compulsive. Since then I have realized that whenever I make my annual visit to the California branch of the family I don’t practice organ. Neither do I do so when we do our annual visit to the Hatch cabin in Grayling. So there are times in my year when I am sort of out to pasture.

A phrase in Siegel’s book, Mind: A Journey to the Heart of Being Human, jumped out at me this morning: ” [our] narrative process can reinforce itself, as the story shared by us becomes the story within us which then sculpts the story we live ourselves into.” (emphasis added)

I sometimes think that it’s easy for me to rehearse negativity if I’m not paying attentioin. This rehearsal whether it be of past bad behavior or fear of future screw ups can contribute to the likelihood I will act in a way I don’t want to.

I would rather “scuplt” my story to reflect and act on my love of Eileen and my family and live myself into a life of making beauty in music and other ways.